Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Feature: BioShock Infinite Review

Irrational Games has delivered a super nova game with BioShock Infinite, which can literally, and without an single iota of exaggeration, be described as an extended orgasm that ejaculates fun and social consciousness during every millisecond of playtime.

The game fires on all cylinders all the time – players will be left wondering if there’s a lubricant strong enough to stand the constant aural and visual (metaphorical) explosions of a floating city gone terribly wrong, steeped in a story that is half Biblical epic, half sci-fi in the tradition of Asimov, and half Joyce, with a dash of Nicola Tesla and Dashiell Hammett, and maybe a sprinkle of everyone’s favourite 17th century Dutch painter Salomon van Ruysdael.

Admittedly, the math included in the paragraph above is difficult to compute, but you need to understand
that Irrational Games has disassembled what we love about video games then reassembled the whole thing into something completely new and unexpected. As a real world example, it’s like the company took apart a 1961 DeSoto Diplomat, right down to the spark plugs then buffed the pieces to glimmering jewels then put the whole thing back together but instead of a car it was a stampeding, two-headed unicorn, vomiting rainbows and shitting expensive Parisian chocolate wafers.

From the beginning, BioShock Infinite compels the player to constantly be moving forward, looking here, looking there, exploring, protecting, fighting a big mechanical bird, and defending a wide-eyed beauty, with a cleavage that isn’t just appealing on a visual level but manages to tap into infant memories where breasts weren’t ogled, they were seen as a source of comfort and sustenance.

That’s exactly what the team at Irrational Games has created: a desire to suckle at the teat of Ken Levine, both in a literal and broader figurative sense. Ken Levine will supply us the comfort and Earth Mother connection all of us need in this day and age, when society is crumbling, economic foundations are cracking, and sink-holes of despair drag us into a bright blue abyss.

This brings us to the conclusion of BioShock Infinite, which is so moving, so soul-wrenching that even the most intellectual player will simply spray gasoline on his couch, light a match, and let the inferno consume the part of them that played video games. There’s nothing else to do once you have allowed nirvana to touch your soul; when the gods have penetrated your mind and rearranged your being you are someone else. Now go build a school in Africa.

Yes, it's that inspiring!

You could never play another video game again and die happy. Friends may tell you about other games that could be deemed “good” but you will just stare them down,

smile ambiguously,

and whisper,

BioShock Infinite.”

- Aaron Simmer

The Good:
- The games industry can finally pack it in, since there's no higher height than BioShock Infinite

The Bad:
- It ends

Score: 11.5 / 10